February 27, 2018 (day 14)
This is how and where I write. At my desk in my pink office usually in some flannel pajamas. Still sporting the Christmas trees on different shades of pink trucks. I loved the spot in our last apartment and I love the spot in this one. What a gift to dedicate this space for inspiration, playing with my crayons, reading, list making, letter writing, prayer and meditation.
Today was a both/and day. At work we laughed. We laughed a lot. I buzzed in for a quick dinner and reluctantly out to a gathering and commitment on my calendar that I did not want to keep. The photo above was calling and yet a small voice said “stick with the plan and keep your word.” And so I did. No pat on the back necessary. Just grateful that I now know this voice, different from “push to go at any price.” The ongoing quest for balance and yet the gifts of stretching a little beyond my comfort zone. Learning in community. Expanding my capacity.
capacity: the ability to receive or contain
Luckily I am more aware of the relationships in my life that have expanded my capacity. To go beyond the limits I have placed on myself. I was thinking about our Mocha this morning, who taught me about the capacity of my heart. I remember seeing Jack for the first time. Moving when I was quite content in my life. Service in the community. Walking into a new place for the first time. Reading books I don’t want to but know I will gain something from. Eating more vegetables. Inviting people into my life. Sharing the ride. Expressing fear or sadness or joy a bit more freely.
Because underneath all of the BS, there is some gorgeous and messy and awkward stuff. We must first make a mess in the kitchen to prepare for the feast. The capacity is about light. See it in others. Know it in yourself.
Shine on. Pajamas and all. xo, b