April 15, 2017 (day 46)
My nerves are swirling as I sit down to write this evening. Are we really HERE? Like a long trip that is finally coming to an end. But we are HERE, so now what?! I am different from where I began 45 days ago. I am so appreciative of the feedback, comments and support from so many of you. And the truth is that I listened to a whisper when I asked the question…”what to do this Lenten season?” And almost immediately I heard, “write!”. So I have written and I am opening up to new rhythms, purpose, and connection.
I enjoyed 2 Boston spring rituals today. First a spin CLASS and then a spin AROUND Copley with the buzz of marathon excitement. For those of you who are natives, I am still a newcomer, excited by riding the T and the tiny pots of daffodils scattered along the course with “Boston Strong” stickers. The duckling statues donning Easter bonnets. My pink cowbell waiting for some action on Monday. A southerner at heart who married a New Englander, it hit me today that Patriot’s Day IS the beginning of spring here while we still await the trees to fully bud. How perfect on this Saturday eve before Easter. I also went over to Fenway to watch the baseball game and many of my MD friends let this one slide. “When in Rome…” and Fenway IS full of some amazing history and energy. I had fun dreaming up and asking my companions what our “up to bat” song would be.
I dug out some old photos tonight in search of inspiration. Easter memories, fun snapshots with potentially catchy captions, young Jack, young Mocha, young Andrew and Barbie. I will throw those into the mix on occasion, but the here and now is where the gift is. It is good to glance in the rear view mirror and important to keep our eyes on the road.
I often say, “you never know what is around the corner”, and applied to the journey of Easter it is quite profound. I write this post having peeked at the end or watched the movie. And yet it is so applicable as we wait. In the dark not knowing. And remembering we are loved even when we are lost. Discouraged. Not wanting to take one step further.
I know that tomorrow morning there will be cuteness overload. Dresses and bonnets and sweater vests. Baskets to carry. Bow ties and suspenders. A wave of memories from many years with my grandmother and her sister at the beach singing their favorite hymns and bringing home lilies and hyacinths to make the house smell like Easter.
Holidays are wonderful and I am always acutely aware that they are not always easy. My geography prevents what we once used to do. And the holidays keep changing. AND. We miss loved ones. We are lonely. We are scared or angry or indifferent. BUT WE ARE HERE. So NOW WHAT?
Well, here’s what I know. The message I got recently from a good friend was an interview with an actor on “Seth Speaks” who declared, “there is no light at the end of the tunnel because there is no tunnel. There is only light.” Wait, what? And yet I see it hear it get it want to and do believe.
There is only light. And now we rest.