July 10, 2017
I have been gone for some time. In a regular rhythm and pattern and then I wasn’t. And sitting here to tap this out feels vaguely familiar and very foreign. There are always lessons, often in the seasons for this eternal student. I crave freedom from rhythm and routine….and then give me an inch and I take a mile. Aka…SUMMER! A wise friend reminds me often to “stay in my own lane”. And behind it is my inner teenager that wants to rebel or resist or complain for the sake of complaining. I want to visit other people’s lanes, damn it. And yet I only write and see what comes by showing up. God knows I need some accountability in my life, so someone at church encouraged me to start a book group. We happen to be reading one of my favorite authors this month, and still I am not quite finished for our meeting tomorrow night. Anne Lamott reminds me in her “Plan B Further Thoughts on Faith”,
“…except that with writing, you start where you are, and you usually do it poorly. You just do it- you do it afraid. And something happens.”
I’ve been here before and most likely I will circle through again. There is wisdom in getting lost and seeing the bigger picture I wasn’t quite aware of by following my own narrow path, and will, for that matter. And while none of this may make any sense to you, I already am aware of the cobwebs and dust clearing. I’ve been off on some adventures, some planned and others spontaneous. I will be moving at the end of this month. One part of me says, “no big deal!” and another says, “VERY big deal! start acting crazy”. So I will do both and luckily I have some folks who will keep me on the straight and narrow.
And with experience and practice I know how to pack. One box and drawer at a time. Sounds applicable to blogging.